Apa kah abang bakri butuhkan saya lagi?? Kalau tidak adek nak pulang.

I was told Confrontasi broke out between Malaysia and Indonesia because Adam Malek said to our Foreign Minister that he “butuh isterinya” untuk menolong sebab hari dah malam. After that ‘kemaluan’ nya membesar bila di beri tahu yang mana isteri sedang menunggu di luar.

This is very interesting and we are all ears, learning by the day and awaiting your response.

Years ago, my mother went to a shop in Arab Street. While she was walking in, a woman angrily walked out of the shop. Being the busybody that she was (and still is), she asked the salesman what happened. He said, “Dia marah saya panggil dia ‘Kakak’. Mana lah saya tau dia ‘Datin’?” The man wasn’t at fault of course because in our tiny island, everyone is a Mister, Mdm or Miss. Or if you are a Malay, you’re normally addressed as either pakcik, makcik, abang, kakak or adik. It’s only polite to do so. So, IMHO, if you’re titled and planning a visit here, perhaps it’s best to leave the title (and your ego) at home. At least if you’re brought down to earth, the fall wouldn’t be so hard.

Btw I think it’s ‘membutuhkan’ and not ‘membutohkan’. Cheers!

Thank you for clarifying the language usage. Please tell me how I should address the taxi drivers and porters at the hotels when they help carry my bags? I know how the locals address them, “Hey!” “Awak” are some of the more familiar but disprespectful terms.

As for the Indonesian usage, do not be upset if after your Indonesian brother expresses his embarassment of how big is his “kemaluan” (frankly I would not be embarassed, on the contrary I would be very proud, and happy!) do not be shocked if he want to “membutohkan” something.

Yes, my Bahasa is of the era of the 1950s. I am thankfully spared the more modish fads like Bahasa Baku etc. When I get back to the village however, I get into the swing of things right away, thanks to my 50s bahasa, with no inspirasi, persepsi, and other modenasasi crap.

Sallam, Bakri

Perhaps because of your years living in a foreign land, you have lost some of your understanding in the use of certain Malay words - just like they have ‘English usage’ we have ‘Malay usage’ of words which cannot be explained by reference to grammar, spelling etc.

‘Encik’ translated does not quite mean ‘Sir”. ‘Sir’ when translated means ‘Tuan’. I think your waiter was understandably puzzled and amused as to why you called him ‘Encik’. He should be calling you ‘Encik’ instead, which means ‘Mister’.

Yes - as for ‘Pak’ or ‘Ibu’ the Indonesian use of these words has little or no connection to how old you are - but has everything to do with respect. It is their equivalent of ‘Sir’ or ‘Encik’ or Ma’am. In fact not using ‘Pak” or ‘Ibu’ when speaking formally is a mark of disrespect or lack of respect.

The word ‘abang’ in Indonesia is used in a somewhat derogatory sense – depending on your station in life. When speaking to a rickshaw puller an Indonesian uses ‘abang’ and hence the term ‘abang beca’. Again that depends on which part of Indonesian you come from.

When a Malay wife addresses her husband, she uses ‘abang’. Needless to say it is a different ‘abang’ used between siblings. That does not mean it is only restricted to just the two situations. Your girlfriend may choose to call you ‘abang’ - which is again from the ‘abang’ used by your waiter or waitress.

You may want to note the next time you’re in Malaysia, that “Coffee, brother?” in the United States has different connotations, if you will, than, “Coffee, abang?” in Malaysia.

As for our former PM Mahathir, those from his home town of Alor Setar who know him well, address him as Cek Det – rather than Pak ‘Thir. In fact dinners thrown in his honour were called “Malam Cek Det”.

Speaking of all things Indonesian, at one time during Confrontation with Indonesia, diplomacy almost gave way to a shooting war (it finally did though for other reasons) when an Indonesian Minister said to his counterpart, “Kemaluan saya sangat besar” meaning in Indonesian, that he was very ashamed (of something or of himself).

P.S: I think your sidebar breaks a little for Firefox viewers.