Spare Me The ‘Pak and ‘Tok
Spare Me The Pak or Tok!
I was dining with my wife at a fancy restaurant in Malaysia a while back. As the only non-foreign looking face among the patrons, I elicited some curious stares from the local staff. This was especially so as I spoke in formal and respectful Malay, addressing them as “Encik” (Sir).
All went well until a young waiter unhesitatingly inquired, “Abang mau kopi lagi?” (More coffee, brother?)
I burst out laughing, telling him while pointing to my generous crop of gray hair that since he addressed me as Abang and not as Pak (Uncle) or worse, Tok (Grandpa), he would get a generous tip! That elicited a joyful response from him. I do not know whether it was from the offer of the generous tip or to his successfully appealing to my vanity.
For decades Prime Minister Abdullah has been referred to as Pak Lah. It went as far back as when he was only in his thirties. Some claim that such forms of addressing someone is a mark of respect or even endearment. Really!
I wonder why then no one dared call then Prime Minister Mahathir, Pak ‘Thir, or even more appropriately Tok ‘Thir. After all he is over 80 years old and more than deserves the honor. Not only that, he is a real Tok as proven by his many lovely grandchildren.
Any soul brave enough to address Mahathir as Pak or Tok ‘Thir would get a silent searing stare from the man. Yet here is Abdullah Badawi absolutely reveling in his Pak Lah moniker. This more than anything else reveals the crucial difference between the two men, but that is not the theme of my essay.
Pak Cik (Middle uncle) is music to my ears when they come from my nieces and nephews. And I cannot get enough of the sweet melody of my toddler grandson, our first, when he addresses me as Datok! My daughter has purposely not taught him the abbreviated form.
The Malaysian Obsession with Titles
Malaysians, especially Malays, are enamored with titles. Peruse the annual King’s birthday honor list. It runs to the thousands. In addition to the King, there are nine other royal sultans, plus four non-royal governors with equally pretentious regal aspirations. Those medal-minting companies must be raking it in; I suggest the authorities outsource it to China and save some money.
Then there are the ornate court attires that must be worn on such occasions, a windfall for the tailors. Never mind that many of these Malay knights wannabes look silly in such costumes. Well, a Malay would look just as clownish clad in one of those Ming’s Court formal regalia.
These honorifics are fast degenerating into yet another source of revenue for our sultans. Who says they are not enterprising! Once at a social gathering of some powerful visitors from Malaysia, the discussion came around to the going price of these titles. I casually remarked that it would be nice to have one of those to decorate the wall of my office. And the price seemed to be in my range too! If it does not add any decorative value to the wall, at least it would be quite a conversation piece.
Imagine my surprise in receiving a long distance phone call from Malaysia a few weeks later to “explore the idea I talked about earlier!” I had a tough time convincing the caller that I had been merely joking. I did not expect that my ugliest suspicion to be confirmed, and so quickly!
My car already has the license plate, “Tan Sri,” causing me forever having to explain to my American friends what it means. To my Malaysian visitors, it commands instant respect! I assured them that in America, such vanity plates could be had for a few extra dollars.
Avoiding Names in Malay Culture
To address someone by name is considered disrespectful or even uncouth in Malay culture. Everyone must be addressed by his or her title. Even in childhood we had titles, such as Bang Long, from sulong (the oldest). If you run out of titles based on series, there is always one based on skin hue; thus Pak ‘Tam from hitam (black).
As we do not address one another by name, Malaysians tend to be careless with their names. Your birth name may have been Chairil Annuar, but some smart aleck Education Minister decided to “modernize” the spelling, and now your transcript would read, “Cairil Anwar.”
In this computer age such carelessness can be risky. Malaysians arriving in the West invariably get entangled with different spellings of their name. Their applications to universities often get filed under various folders. In my orientation talks to American managers assigned to Malaysia, I caution them about “Google-ing” their Malaysian counterparts. It can be frustrating. Google is not smart enough to consider that “Annuar” and “Anwar” refer to the same person, at least in Malaysia. In the same vein I advised them of the futility of looking up the phone directory.
I once spent hours trying to look up Malaysia Airlines in the phone directory. Some idiot had it under Sistem Penerbangan Malaysia! He probably also listed John White as John Puteh.
Malaysians also have long elaborate names. The problem is aggravated by the common practice of incorporating titles into one’s name, including that of one’s father. Thus Datuk Hishammuddin bin Tun Hussein. How do you file an application from such individuals? Under “H” for Hussein, or “T,” “B,” or even “D” for Datuk?
Once at Los Angeles Airport I helped extricate a Malaysian dignitary from the hassles of immigration. The gentleman’s name on his ticket did not match that on his passport. Obviously the latter document had not been updated to include his latest grand title.
This obsession with titles afflicts Malaysian academics too. On an American campus one can get away with addressing someone as “Prof” or “Dr.,” not so in Malaysia. Malaysian academics are as obsessed with their academic as well as civil titles.
In my general essays I avoid my professional title; it is irrelevant. In my professional essays, I only have my “MD” after my name. I do not add my undergraduate or graduate degrees, or my fellowships. It is understood that to get your MD you must have had your bachelor’s degree and certainly your high school diploma.
Such unnecessary titles often are barriers to communication. Without my titles to mess up my message, I often get vigorous rebuttals from young readers, which I enjoy immensely. They obviously mistake me for some wet-behind-the-ears graduate student; hence their unrestrained comments.
Once I accidentally let slip to one of my persistent critics that I had trained his physician father. My critic suddenly became very muted and deferential in his subsequent comments. I had unintentionally defanged him.
Such are the powers and perils of titles and labels.
August 27th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
This is a classic, Bakri. I can’t agree more.
I recall one speech I made at a ceremonial parade many years ago. I had deliberately refrained from addressing all the dignateries present, except for the guest of honour, by their ranks, titles and names, and in order of seniority. I merely addressed them as “tuan-tuan, puan-puan dan para hadirin sekalian”.
I got a dressing down by my commander right after the parade.
Such is the mentality of our people who would go to great length to be seen and recognised. Therefore, titles and ranks become a much sought after commodity.
Speeches are peppered with a long salutation and an equally lengthy conclusion. No one bothers for the message that the speaker is trying to convey.
August 27th, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Dr Bakri
Jit Murad a great stand up comedian had done a series on the Malaysian salutation and referring people by their title. He once joked that it takes over fifteen minutes to do the salutation Not only that take a look at the Malaysian business card and you will see a string of abbreviations behind their names and you will need an encyclopedia just to decipher those awards and degrees.
The other thing is the collection of awards. There are dignitaries in Malaysia that have a Datukship from every state in Malaysia. On top of thet he also has 2 Tan Sris one first class and another second class. Imagine addressing someone like this.
Recently Tan Sri Kontik Kamariah passed away. She was one of the few ladies to be awarded her very own Tan Sri (not Puan Sri mind you). She passed away at the age of 95. She was also awarded the title of Orang Kaya Kaya Daerah Gombak and carry the title Datin Cempaka. She was apioneer in many fields and The Star did a wonderful write up on her.
August 27th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
It’s no secret the going price for titles in Bolehland from north to south, east to west of the country are the same. The BN Goverment for decades has been practising it, choose to look elsewhere and pretend not to want to know.
When a title is offered, feelers are sent out and the prospective recipient must know what to do next but If there’s no responce on one’s part forget it, chances are you’ll be off their list of next recipients.
Nevermind the streets are lined with them, every year younger and affordable malaysians are being conferred titles. One wonders what have these haughty kurang-ajar young punks done to deserve such a title? Just walk into a crowded restaurant, a club or the mall and call out “dato, tan-sri!” chances are at least 5 heads will turn your way.
August 27th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
maybe we should just salute by saying …selamat …. bapak-bapak dan kepala-kepala bapak sekalian ….
August 27th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
much ado about noting la Doc …
August 28th, 2006 at 12:37 am
You’ve been an inspiring read, dear Dr. Bakri ever since I first discovered your book on the Malay Dilemma Revisited several years ago.
Great ideals, insightfull analyses of the Malay psyche and thought-provoking proposals on the Malaysian life and body politic.
I hesitate to write until recently as I realise that wise folks are all around and that my own simple comments may be found inane and obvious. And, the intellectual discourse sometimes frighten me. But, I decided to learn as I prod along.
Indeed, titles and classes seem like an unofficial caste system in Malaysia; probably part of and a combination of the ancient feudal system and post-colonial administration. Will not go away in any forseeable future.
In any case, just as you call out ‘Datuk’ in a hotel lounge or member clubs, and 10 heads swivel at you, when I say ‘ Botak’ as I enter my regular pub and 7 heads turn towards me, four of them local Malaysians and 3 orang-putihs or Kweilows who may be part of the My Second Home programme (as they definitely wont qualify for the silver-hair programme).
At least, in this context, I never feel intimidated by the turning heads, unlike if it were in the lounge or the club when I only wanted to speak with one particular Datuk.
Keep up the interesting pieces, sir.
With best regards & cheers,
Gerubuk
August 28th, 2006 at 3:27 am
The title Dato’ is available in open market…a successful pirated dvd dealer can actually sanitised all the wrongs with the title.I remember my Boss started to walk with different sway the day he knew he was going to be honored which was 6 months away…
Its an open secret some royalty houses outsource the process of finding for rightful recipient of the titles to their children as the King birthday gifts for the siblings to tender in open market.
There was one Dato’ who obtained his title sponsored by all the owners of companies that need to go through his department.It did not matter that he was not born in the State ,never work in the state,never met the King and in short tenureship in the Federal office,never contribute anything to the state except for buying the titles and paying it to the Prince with a princely some!!
It tickle me to the bone of MBM ‘Tan Sri’ vanity plate …and its quite cheap too…the going price now is one million or one rollsroyce.
Its only happening in Malaysia…if one were to throw a pebble in a crowd ,it would invariably hit a Dato’ bounced and hit another Dato’.If you counted those with multiple Dato’ship that could easily be four hits
August 28th, 2006 at 11:36 am
Bakri
People of your stature should do away with this rubbish. Ini topik lama. Though veiled under your crafty words one still can see you big ego.
Why cant you be like Hisham Rais or Dr Azly. They are good postings. We have enough of big egomaniac s like you looming in cyberspaces.
When one marry an outsider it can be understood if he had to adjust to accomodate his other half, but why everyone else has to confirm to your new values. Go on wandering…. do you feel small for not being fully accepted in the western spheres. Pls do not blame us for your insecurities.
August 28th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Abdul Aziz
Hisham writes to appeal to the Malay reader and very coloquial in nature. Dr Azly writings are more philosophical. So it’s a matter of taste. Tepuk dada tanya selera.
Yes Datukship is an old topic but once in a while it’s worth revisiting. I didn’t sense any insecurity on the part of Bakri. He is as confident as ever even when being critical of the administration. You on the other part display a sense of “terkilan” maybe you are living in Malaysia and pretending to be first world but third world in mentality. The US is not like Malaysia where there is a class system. In the US even the President is addressed as Mr President unlike in Malaysia where the PM is addressed as Yang Amat Berhormat, Dato Seri. What is the significance of Yang Amat Berhormat?
Then we have the Yang Berhormat majority of them are have been accused of wrongdoings and yet being addressed as Yang Berhormat. Going down the chain then there is the Yang Berusaha. I guess Malays and Malaysians like to have a Yang B….. before their name.
Last year there was a furor over the numbers of Datukship awarded by Melaka and then Pahang. I wonder what is the number of Datuks awarded this year when these 2 states try to outdo each other Perhaps we can all put in a good word for you to be a YB. (Why be?) chill out my man. 10-4
August 28th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I enjoy the humorous side of you.
August 28th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
Well done Ogre, I like your style !
August 28th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
“insecurities” - is that what you meant Abdul Aziz? How could Dr Bakri be when he admirably speaks out, willing to stand up and be counted, not like you who prefers ‘topik lama’ be swept under the carpet and let sleeping dog lie?
So you feel small, no “outsider” wants to marry you? Hard luck with your kind mentality, I don’t think you go down well even among the squatters. Either you shake yourself, wake up and do something for society or remain forever under your tempurung.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Perhaps Abdul Aziz is one of those who bought his Datoship. Worse still, he could have got his from Mindanao, and it costs a mere RM15k.
May I ask, what’s wrong with discussing our weaknesses once in a while, even though it has been discussed many times before. I do not sense any patronising attitude on the part of Bakri.
Even during this Merdeka celebrations, there will be the usual write up on those who sacrificed for the country, and the “struggle” continues etc etc. Year in, year out, that’s the same message we see come end of August.
An do we complain about that too?
LJ
August 28th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Ada juga yang sakit hati kah? Over some cerita lama like YB Dato this or YBhg Datuk that…I feel that Dr. Bakri just wanted to revisit this old subject, almost an anachronism is many modern lands, with a dose of salt.
Certainly no insecurity on his part. Just tongue-in-cheek la.
So, relax la, Saudara Abdul Aziz. Kerana when you label someone a brand, say egomaniac, it manifests your own shortcomings and insecurities in not coming to terms with a cheeky anecdote.
I pun respect all postings everywhere, but kadang, nak lantak juga yang I fikir not really munasabah.
Harap maklum.
Cheers
August 28th, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Dear all
A malay is self respectful by nature (if they are pure bred). No malay worth his salt will buy datukship, forget those politicians.
Nothing wrong with these awards. They only need to be restricted to deserving ones. Even Bakri should not get one, what more you all.
Those who have no sense of belonging only will cry foul of all that are locals. There are neither here nor there. We can see their names, hey they will adopt English first name eventhough they are not English or Christians. Mereka ni masih belum merdeka. Anything smell US are good, right Bakri.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:24 am
Abdul Aziz
“”No Malay worth his salt will buy Datukship. I personally know of about a dozen Malays that bought their Datukship and even Tan Sriship. Not sure if they are “pure bred” Malays. Perhaps you can give your definition of “pure bred” malays versus “mixed breed” Malays. I for one want to know in which category I fall into so I may not make the mistake of buying a Datukship if I am not a pure bred Malay. Beginning to sound like a Canine show here. Pure bred mongrel and a mixed breed pit bull. Watch out for the mixed bred pit bull, my friend.
“Yes nothing wrong with these awards. They only need to be restricted to deserving ones” Aha my friend, you finally see the light. That is what this article is all about. Deserving ones versus the money can buy one. I personally feel that Bakri should get a Datukship. Had Bakri been in Malaysia he would certainly be a Tan Sri by now. Notice how many MD’s in Malaysia that are Datuks. Every State Medical Director is a Datuk. The DG of the Ministry of Health is a Tan Sri.
We all have a sense of belonging but we cry foul at the way things are done. You cry foul too when you said titles should be restricted to deserving ones. You are implying that some people do not deserve the titles right? I have 2 titles awarded to me by a certain Sultan and I once turned down an award from another. What does that make me. Where do I belong?
Lets not get into this name calling. Your name is not Malay but Arabic, so what does that make you? Is Bakri Musa a Christian or English name? Are you suggesting Bakri change his name to Bakri Moses? Then you will have to change your name to Slave Aziz. Now I see why you need Merdeka, to be a freed slave ha ha ha. I guess Long Jaafar have to change to Jaafar Panjang and Gerubuk, what shall we call you?
Quote: The US is not perfect but it is the best there is.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:06 am
ogre
Which Sultan awarded you. Sultan Magindanao!?. You ara a datuk!!!!. Ha ha ha. If you are for real, then you are one of those Datuks with no substance.
I dont blame the Sultan but the Datukship peddlars that clearly made the grave mistake.How much money you put under his proverbial table.
You turned down the award or your bid was turned down. It must be the peddlars (or should i say the hustlers) that turned you down. This must be a classic case of sour grape.
I have been to all the continents, thank god i was born in Malaysia. No countries compared to Malaysia and no, no, not on goverment tickets.
Malaysia, truly Asia. Ha ha ha ha.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:04 am
Abdul Aziz
I was given the award for services rendered and not for money paid. Being a world traveller you can’t even spell Mindanao ha ha ha. Too much time in the Dark Continent I suppose.
I don’t deal with peddlers. I am known on a personal basis with the sultan. No I don’t have the money and neither is my ego that big to buy an award. Sorry you are barking up the wrong tree. What I say about being careful with half breed mongrel, they may come back and bite you.
I was born and bred in Malaysia and I am happy to be a Malaysian. My lineage include warriors in the service of the Malay rulers and I have served my time in the Armed Forces. My parents and grand parents were all decorated with numerous awards. If you care to read an earlier writing you may know my lineage. Yes Malaysia is a fine country and I would like to see it that way and not run to the ground.
One piece of advise here Aziz. When challenging an article, stay focus on the article and not the writer. If you disagree by all means state your disagreement with the written piece but don’t ridicule the writer, his origin or his family. Again being a world traveller you exhibit very poor taste. I am not a world traveller so I can’t compare with you. I am just a kampong boy who has seen the world. yada yada yada 10-4
August 29th, 2006 at 7:52 am
Ok ogre. i will be more refined this time.
You want to do away with titular awards but yet on the same wavelength you are proud of your ancestral lineages and luminaries. Ok i do not want to touch deeper on this less i will agitate you further.
You seemed to be not in the know with these unrecognised awards issues very well.
Mindanao is a big island. In the past there were several sultanates there. There are no more recognised Sultans there. One of the descendants of these sultanates…namely the decsendant of Magindanao Sultanate want to revive the sultanate, and thereon he started to issue decrees and awards.
If you want to know more, the Jolos and all other sea gypsies in the archipelagoes between Philiphines and Sabah are decendants of warriors (who were defeated defending Malacca) who are then driven from Malacca during the long period of Portuguese and Dutch days.
And how about you, from the Bugese or Mandailing lineage.
Ogre, peace and bye bye to you, sorry for being too itchy to rub salt on you.
I just enjoy some light sparring. No hard feeling to anybody.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:39 am
En Bakri, En Bakar,En GerubuK, En Long Jaafar and especially En Ogre
Dont you think critizing the awards giving in cyberspace like this tantamount to critizing the sultans, who have given you the awards (Ogre).
I think, En Bakri being well known should take a different routes, get in touch with the sultan advisors.
You Ogre, since you know the Sultans on personal basis, dont you think that it is quite below the belt to citicize the sultans this way.
We should protect some semblance of dignities of our Sultans. That is my point. We all know that non malay are very critical about these, and when come to buying the datuks they are also the majorities. Non malay may not like this, but this is very well known facts.
I may not agree with these rampant awards giving, but making fun of the systems to the extend accusing the sultans trading should not be allowed. It lays bare the uncouth character of whoever did that.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Abdul Aziz
I about the unrecognized awards and I couldn’t care less about these awards. That’s why they are called unrecognized awards. I didn’t mention about doing away with awards just that the awards should be given for the right reasons. Service to nation, state and ruler.
There are 2 types of awards, one from the State and one from the ruler himself. The ruler are advised by the Menteri Besar and State Secretary. Most awards goes to the BN assembly members or MP’s, and the Chief of Armed Forces and Heads of Government Departments. I stand corrected,
I don’t recall criticising any particular Sultan but as you said we are trying to protect some semblance of dignity of our Sultans.
No apologies needed. It is a pleasure to enter into a discussions as long as we maintain the decorum. I would like to hear more of your opinions and I am sure others feel the same, now that we have been introduced. Don’t worry I don’t get upset, I get even ha ha ha if you know what I mean.
Bugis or Mendeleng, Minangkabau or Javanese makes no difference as they are all from the same stock, rumpun Melayu.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Abdul Aziz,
…..and since when can’t we criticise the Sultans? If they insist on complete respect from the people, they have to earn it. They cannot participate actively in business, sports association etc. and not be subject to criticism and comments.
LJ
August 29th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Peace, brothers. If I may, I find that Dr. Bakri’s main theme is liberation, open-mindedness and improving one’s life. I suppose there’s an undercurrent that could be interpreted as political, though he does not seem to toe any party line. Hence, let’s embrace life in all its manifestations. The assumption is that anyone who’s saying ‘yes’ to life is automatically going to say ‘no’ to those forces and policies that destroy life, bridle it, dull it, or render it miserable.
Can we say that our purpose is to consciously, deliberately evolve towards a wiser, more liberated and luminous state of being - a return to Eden, make friends with the snake, and get digitally connected among the wild apple trees? Yet many suppress the notion with considerable force because to admit it is to acknowledge that most of our political gyrations, religous dogmas, social ambitions, and financila ploys are not merely counterproductive, but trivial. We should jettison those pointless preoccupations and take on once again the primordial cargo of inexhaustible ecstasy. Or, barring that, to roast a damn good lemang with a delectable rendang, with a strong chilled glass of tuak tebu.
Cheers,
Gerubuk
August 29th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
Cant Criticise Sultan
Is that against constitution? Somebody please enlighten me.
As a far as I know The Sultan is the Keeper of Islamic Faith to whom the subjects look upon for guidance. As such we expect him to be at least observing the practise of Islam as A Leader of Islamic faith .
When the King does not practise Islam and leading the live of decadence , debauchery and licentiousness, do we stand aside and accept it like a loyal subjects and still placed him as the leader of Islamic believe? Are we the muslim are so impotent that we cant elect among among the royals the King that can truly be a decent muslim even not a pious one?
If the Kings were to exhibit the personality unbecoming of a muslim in public (much less as a leader) isnt it wrong as a muslim to criticise him? As a Muslim i Must,as a Malaysian I cant. When the Kings had a merry time with all his non muslim friends, it must have crossed their mind that the muslims were being fooled and conned by their Islamic Leader (King) !!
Due to ‘Taat Tak Berbelah Bagi ‘ of subjects to the King,unscrupulous friends of the King would do things under His name ,knowing fully aware that whatever decisions they made ,then ‘ signed ‘ by Kings would become uncontestable decision that need to be followed to the T.
Worst is when the Kings started to walk amongst his subjets as so call ‘equal’ ….the democratically elected president become a walkover and subsequent committee would be appointed by a new President who is in spare time the Ruling Kings.
Blunders ,demotion,ridicule and laughing stock become the norm as the association cant criticise the Leader who happen to be A King.And the President would graciously said that “Beta told them to treat me as their equals” equals indeed.
This feudalistic culture is best manifested by the Royal House of Thailand.The Kings were so beloved by the subjects because he placed Rakyat Interest above his own,formulate agriculture and other reformation for the betterment of his people and stay above politic and truly practise Buddhism and rightly so be the leader of the religion.
Only then the title meant something…..
August 29th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Sorry…words got transposed in wrong sequence, and should have read as follows :-
….Or, barring that, to roast a damn good lemang with some delectable rendang, and a chilled glass of strong tuak tebu.
Cheers,
Gerubuk
August 30th, 2006 at 12:09 am
Just stumbled across your website while looking for alternative news sources in Malaysia. Fancy that! Good arguments regarding ketuanan Melayu. I hope to see many more quality works in the future. :]
P.S: I think your sidebar breaks a little for Firefox viewers.
August 30th, 2006 at 4:10 am
Abang Bakri,
Perhaps because of your years living in a foreign land, you have lost some of your understanding in the use of certain Malay words - just like they have ‘English usage’ we have ‘Malay usage’ of words which cannot be explained by reference to grammar, spelling etc.
‘Encik’ translated does not quite mean ‘Sir”. ‘Sir’ when translated means ‘Tuan’. I think your waiter was understandably puzzled and amused as to why you called him ‘Encik’. He should be calling you ‘Encik’ instead, which means ‘Mister’.
Yes - as for ‘Pak’ or ‘Ibu’ the Indonesian use of these words has little or no connection to how old you are - but has everything to do with respect. It is their equivalent of ‘Sir’ or ‘Encik’ or Ma’am. In fact not using ‘Pak” or ‘Ibu’ when speaking formally is a mark of disrespect or lack of respect.
The word ‘abang’ in Indonesia is used in a somewhat derogatory sense – depending on your station in life. When speaking to a rickshaw puller an Indonesian uses ‘abang’ and hence the term ‘abang beca’. Again that depends on which part of Indonesian you come from.
When a Malay wife addresses her husband, she uses ‘abang’. Needless to say it is a different ‘abang’ used between siblings. That does not mean it is only restricted to just the two situations. Your girlfriend may choose to call you ‘abang’ - which is again from the ‘abang’ used by your waiter or waitress.
You may want to note the next time you’re in Malaysia, that “Coffee, brother?” in the United States has different connotations, if you will, than, “Coffee, abang?” in Malaysia.
As for our former PM Mahathir, those from his home town of Alor Setar who know him well, address him as Cek Det – rather than Pak ‘Thir. In fact dinners thrown in his honour were called “Malam Cek Det”.
Speaking of all things Indonesian, at one time during Confrontation with Indonesia, diplomacy almost gave way to a shooting war (it finally did though for other reasons) when an Indonesian Minister said to his counterpart, “Kemaluan saya sangat besar” meaning in Indonesian, that he was very ashamed (of something or of himself).
August 30th, 2006 at 4:15 am
See you, brother! Do visit me in New York when you’re free.
August 30th, 2006 at 5:19 am
I call my b/f ‘ah beng’.
August 30th, 2006 at 7:43 am
Dear Linguist:
Thank you for clarifying the language usage. Please tell me how I should address the taxi drivers and porters at the hotels when they help carry my bags? I know how the locals address them, “Hey!” “Awak” are some of the more familiar but disprespectful terms.
As for the Indonesian usage, do not be upset if after your Indonesian brother expresses his embarassment of how big is his “kemaluan” (frankly I would not be embarassed, on the contrary I would be very proud, and happy!) do not be shocked if he want to “membutohkan” something.
Yes, my Bahasa is of the era of the 1950s. I am thankfully spared the more modish fads like Bahasa Baku etc. When I get back to the village however, I get into the swing of things right away, thanks to my 50s bahasa, with no inspirasi, persepsi, and other modenasasi crap.
Sallam, Bakri
August 30th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Sdr Bakri,
Though I have heard of your blog from a few of your acquaintances, this is the first time that I have actually gone into it courtesy of beritakmu. Discussions on the titles are interesting and lively.
It should be noted that titles do get you places in Malaysia. I know this from experience.
The medals are not cheap. Even the miniatures can set you back a tidy sum if you need to replace one that is lost. Some are not just gold plated but gold inlaid. So imagine the budget for the medals in each state. I remember wanting to do a story on the costs way back in the 70s but was stopped from doing so by my editors then.
But the way the awards especially the datukships are being handed out by the states especially in the past couple of years is quite demeaning. (At least the Federal awards are more discretionary).
Nowadays any Secretary General of a Ministry or Director General of a department, even their deputies seem to be conferred the datukship by one state or another almost immediately after being appointed to their posts unlike in the past. I know of a number of such retired gentlemen after being in government service for 30 years or more retiring as DGs are still plain enciks because they happen to retire some five or more years ago.
Even editors of newspapers nowadays get their datukship from various states almost immediately upon appointment unlike before when even those retiring after very long service are still plain enciks.
My two sen worth.
Thank you
August 30th, 2006 at 7:35 pm
Good morning, Encik Bakri.
Years ago, my mother went to a shop in Arab Street. While she was walking in, a woman angrily walked out of the shop. Being the busybody that she was (and still is), she asked the salesman what happened. He said, “Dia marah saya panggil dia ‘Kakak’. Mana lah saya tau dia ‘Datin’?” The man wasn’t at fault of course because in our tiny island, everyone is a Mister, Mdm or Miss. Or if you are a Malay, you’re normally addressed as either pakcik, makcik, abang, kakak or adik. It’s only polite to do so. So, IMHO, if you’re titled and planning a visit here, perhaps it’s best to leave the title (and your ego) at home. At least if you’re brought down to earth, the fall wouldn’t be so hard.
Btw I think it’s ‘membutuhkan’ and not ‘membutohkan’. Cheers!
August 30th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Don’t think we should let you go that easily Abdul Aziz. What’s your definition of a “pure malay” . Are you one pure breed?
This is very interesting and we are all ears, learning by the day and awaiting your response.
August 31st, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Abang Bakri,
Apa kah abang bakri butuhkan saya lagi?? Kalau tidak adek nak pulang.
I was told Confrontasi broke out between Malaysia and Indonesia because Adam Malek said to our Foreign Minister that he “butuh isterinya” untuk menolong sebab hari dah malam. After that ‘kemaluan’ nya membesar bila di beri tahu yang mana isteri sedang menunggu di luar.
September 13th, 2006 at 6:17 pm
I am the only one holding the highest title in Malaysia, a ” Tun Sri” . After that it is followed by Tun, Tan Sri, Tan, Dato Sri and lastly Dato. You see there are thousand of lucky China man whose are automatically bestowed with the fourth highest title at birth and it is hereditary. Please don’t say they bought it.